Category: Health and Fitness


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I admit, I have a pretty great life, but I also have dreams and goals I haven’t done much about. I took a small step when I joined Plexus three months ago. I’ve experienced the benefits of the products on my health. I’ve become a part of a team that is passionate about helping others. I’ve also heard about the financial freedom that is possible through Plexus. I joined because I was tired of being unhealthy and overweight, but do you know what else I’m tired of? I’m tired of being in debt. I’m tired of looking at my bank account every day and depending on that next check to get me through til the next one. What about you? What are you tired of? What are your dreams? What if today is the day to act? What if Plexus really could change everything?

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Plexus Skeptic

I have felt hopeless about overcoming my struggle with food because, to be honest, I just love unhealthy food so much.  Because I know the power food has had over me, I am skeptical about trying anything that claims to help with cravings or weight loss.  Also, I don’t like to spend a lot of money on myself unless it’s for food or entertainment. I have a hard time buying clothes or shoes that cost over $20.  I don’t spend much on make-up, accessories, or manicures.  I had heard about Plexus before, but thought it was just another fad.  However, after continuing to learn about Plexus products and their health benefits, which go beyond weight loss, and after a friend offered me a deal to try them at wholesale prices, I decided to invest my money and see what happens.

In thirteen days of using Plexus, I have:

  • resisted sugary treats in the break room at work more than once
  • consumed well over 8 cups of water a day
  • preferred water over anything else and actually poured out a carbonated drink I bought
  • experienced no back pain when I get out of bed in the morning, which I had been experiencing constantly for the past 3-4 weeks prior
  • felt more confident and energetic
  • had an easier time going to the bathroom (I know, TMI!)
  • lost 8.6 pounds

I haven’t changed my eating habits entirely.  I’ve had fast food, sweet tea, and diet coke on a few occasions.  What I haven’t done is bought a whole box of Little Debbie snacks to eat at work in one day and I haven’t sat in my car eating in secret.  I haven’t craved Dr. Pepper, which is usually my go-to drink when I’m tired, stressed, or thirsty.

Yes, I’m only 13 days in, and I’m sure I will continue to have struggles and cravings, but I just wanted to share these positive things because I am now a believer!

Starting Over…Again?

I came on to my blog here to copy the link from one of my posts to share on facebook and I realized I haven’t written anything in a while.  The reason is I don’t feel like I’ve made much progress to share about.  In my last post 11 months ago, I stated I was at my heaviest weight of 290 and I was starting over.  How many times have I said I’m starting over? Plenty!  Well just a few weeks ago, I weighed in at my new high of 299.  Yes, I have “started over” again, and I’ve lost 5 pounds since then.  I still don’t know what it’s going to take for me to make changes that are going to last.  Will I ever give up my love for food for a healthier, more enjoyable life?  Food is my downfall for sure.  Or is is lack of self-control?

Instead of continuing to beat myself up, I will share some of the ways I have made progress in the last 11 months.  This blog is not only about physical transformation, but overall transformation.  It’s just that the physical affects other areas of my life so much.

Here are some positives:

  • I joined a Saturday morning run/walk club.
  • I’ve walked 2 5ks since joining the group in addition to the regular Saturday morning walks.
  • I have cut down on sodas in the past few weeks and am drinking lots more water.
  • I stepped out of my comfort zone to take a new position at work.
  • I have spent more time in prayer during times of stress.

I’m reminded of the song by Brandon Heath, “God’s Not Finished With Me Yet”.  I’m so thankful He never gives up on me!

 

 

Pressing On

Here I am today, March 22, 2015, back at my heaviest weight ever… 290 pounds.  I was at this weight 5 years ago, and I was determined not to ever get to 300.  I’ll be there soon if I don’t start taking my health seriously.  I’m here posting this to say I am starting over. I can’t beat myself up or dwell on the last five years.  I have to start right now and move forward.  I’m “forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead”, as Paul said in Philippians 3:13 (NIV).  I know he wasn’t talking about weight loss, but that’s just what came to mind.  I’m also reminded of what Lysa Terkeurst says in her book “Made to Crave”… “I was made for more than being stuck in a vicious cycle of defeat. I am not made to be a victim of my poor choices. I was made to be a victorious child of God.”  I’m done feeling defeated.  “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”  (Philippians 4:13 NASB)

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I’ve posted before about my history with weight and the cycle of losing and gaining over and over.  Another year and a half has passed, and I’m still on the same roller coaster. My weight goes down, then up, then down, then up again. Here’s a glance at what I’m talking about:

Heaviest Weight Jan 1, 2010 – 291.5 
Feb 14, 2011 – 254.5 
Restart Dec 27, 2012 – 277.3 
May 15, 2013 – 257.0 
Restart Again! May 30, 2014 – 283.6 
Most Recent Weight July 3, 2014 – 272.4

There really is no good excuse.  There are two reasons I am in this position:

1. I love food and I haven’t been willing to make sacrifices in this area.  I am talking about lots of food, and mostly unhealthy food. Fast food, sweets, and Dr. Pepper in particular. Food is my comfort, food is my stress reliever, food is my reward.  Food is everywhere and it’s often the center of socializing with friends, at church, and out on dates with my husband.  I know food is not bad.  Eating is a necessity, and even enjoying food is okay.  I also know I have an unhealthy love for food, maybe even an addiction.  I overeat in public, but even worse, I eat more in secret than I would like to admit.  

2. I am lazy.  I’m not being too hard on myself.  It’s true. I hate to take time to prepare food.  I do not enjoy cooking.  I would prefer to go to a drive-thru or order pizza every day. I’m talking mostly about being lazy when it comes to making myself something to eat, although it does carry over into exercise too.  Sometimes I’ll go for a walk or I’ll march around my living room until I get 10,000 steps on my fitbit, but most of the time I am am a couch potato.

I keep wondering what is it going to take for me to truly get serious about changing my lifestyle and taking care of my body.  You would think that the feeling I get when looking in the mirror, or being somewhere in public where I can’t fit in the seats, or not being able to fit into any of my clothes would be enough.  The shame and the sadness should motivate me, right?  Or the thought that my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit and I should honor God by taking care of it…that should do it.  My problem is that any motivation I get is only temporary, and so the roller coaster ride continues.  Up and down… sometimes upside down… and it never stops.  

On my profile for MyFitnessPal.com, I wrote this a while back… “Here I am, continuing on, hoping one day, I’ll have the desire and discipline to make lasting changes.”  The only solution I have right now is to stop hoping and to start doing.  When I don’t feel like exercising, do it anyway.  When I’d rather go through the drive-thru, go home and make myself something to eat instead. When I’m craving sweets, eat some fruit.  Pineapple and strawberries are yummy, so enjoy them!

I realize I have the choice about what I put into my body and how I spend my time.  There is no excuse for my obesity.  So that’s what I have to do… make a choice to change my life, one day at a time, one meal at a time.   

One final thought is that I know I cannot do it alone.  As I make choices each day, I need to draw strength from the Holy Spirit.  I have God’s power available to me, but I often ignore it and try to do things on my own.  I also need to rely on the accountability of friends.  I have my husband, and I have my ladies accountability group at church.  I need to be honest with them, ask them for prayer, and listen to their wisdom.  

I’ve never liked roller coasters, so it’s time to get off of this one!

A Pound A Week

In 12 weeks, I have lost 12 pounds.  They say a pound a week is a good, safe number.  Of course I’d be happy with more, but I’ll take it.  I know the number on the scale is not the most important thing, but it is one way to measure whether or not I am taking care of my body.   I have a number in mind I’d like to reach, but more than that, I want to be healthy.  Being 5’3″ and over 260 pounds is not healthy, so yes, the scale is one indicator of my progress.

I have increased my activity level.  I am no athlete, but I am moving more than I have most of my adult life.  I have a Fitbit to motivate me to get up and move more, especially at work.  Plus I have been doing some kind of intentional exercise 4-6 days a week.   Some days, it may be a one mile walk.  Other days, it’s a DVD workout.  To those more advanced than me, it may not seem like much, but the important thing is I am moving.

I still struggle with overeating, but instead of daily, it is 2-3 days a week.  I am learning to stop, think, and pray before giving in to my food cravings.  Sometimes I fail, but I can’t dwell on my mistakes for too long or I will just feel defeated and give up.  I have to keep going.

So that’s where I am right now.  As always, a work in progress.  🙂

I haven’t posted in a couple of weeks, so I thought I’d give an update.  My last post was about some small steps I had taken to improve my eating habits.  I did great for two weeks, and although I haven’t completely reverted back to my old ways, I have not been as focused and I have indulged several times in the past 10 days.  I’m sure it shows on the scale, but I am not going to check just yet because this is about more than a number.

I’ve been hearing so much lately about different things my friends are doing with their eating, including Weight Watchers, Paleo, and simply counting calories.  I’ve been doing the calorie counting thing, but I missed a few days here and there.  Part of me thinks I need to stick with that because it does help me realize how much I am putting into my body, and therefore somewhat motivates me to do better.  On the other hand, today I was thinking I don’t need to be obsessed with counting every single calorie, but instead just eat when I’m hungry, control my portions, and work on making healthier choices.  That’s easier said than done, but I’m not sure if I can commit to something like Paleo or Weight Watchers.

So right now, I’m just not sure what to do.  For now, I will continue to take it one day at a time, one baby step at a time, and I will seek ways to improve my lifestyle instead of making only temporary changes.  I am a work in progress.  I will make mistakes, but I will not give up.

Small Steps

It has been 9 days since I have started over in trying to be healthier and lose weight, this time relying more on God than on my own willpower. I am not to the point of totally transforming my diet, and because I’ve been sick for the past week, I have not gotten into an exercise routine, but I thought I’d share some small steps I’ve taken so far.

  • I have tracked my food so I know how many calories I am putting into my body.
  • I have measured my food instead of guessing.
  • I have been drinking more water.
  • When having a big family meal (late Christmas with the step-kids), I planned exactly how much of each food I was going to eat, logged it in my food journal ahead of time, and stuck to it!
  • When planning this big meal, I chose lighter options for dessert than what we would normally have… fruit salad and sugar free chocolate pudding as opposed to pies and ice cream.
  • When having food that was not so healthy, like on New Year’s Eve, I ate half of what I would normally eat.  (Example 2 slices of pizza instead of 4 and 3 chocolate chip cookies instead of 6)
  • I have prayed for God to guide me and give me strength to resist temptation.
  • I have avoided eating for emotional reasons, such as when stressed.  If I craved something because I thought I deserved it or needed it to make me feel better, I did not allow myself to have it.

So these are a few things I have done differently.  I’ve splurged a little, but not as much as I usally do…not to the point of feeling sick or guilty.  The result so far in the past 9 days is 4.3 pounds lost, but even greater than that is hope that with God, this is possible.

Weight Loss Background

I have been overweight as long as I can remember.  I recall seeing pictures of me as a child, one of me holding a package of M&M’s and having chocolate on my face, and the other of me with a look of excitment as I’m eating Baskin Robbins Ice Cream.  They are cute, and I laugh at them, but they also show that my love for food, especially sweets, began early in life.

             

The last time I recall being under 200 pounds was in Junior High.  I remember getting on the scale during P.E. one day and being shocked to learn I was 195 pounds.  Throughout Junior High and even into High School, there were a group of guys who would always laugh at me and make “MOO” sounds, implying that I was a fat cow.  I went home in tears all the time.  I’ve come across my class picture from my 8th Grade graduation in 1992, and I remember clearly that day once again being laughed at and called a cow.  I was not a happy girl that day!

  

Fast forward about 17 1/2 years to the end of 2009.  I stepped on the scale and saw that I was 291.5 pounds.  I thought to myself, “No way am I getting to 300!”.  Of course I waited until after the holidays to get serious.  On January 1, 2010, I began exercising and tracking my calories, trying to eat less and make healthier choices.  I lost about 30 pounds in the first few months, and then continued to go up and down into 2011. I was down to 254…37 pounds from my beginning weight of 291…during the first few months of 2011.

I soon lost that motivation and began to gain my weight back.  I have fluctuated between the 260’s and 270’s for almost two years now. I have constantly struggled with shame, embarrassment, and sadness over my weight and my appearance.  I remember going with my husband to a Dallas Stars game in October 2011.  I was excited and looking forward to the night out.  We arrived and found our seats, but could barely squeeze into them.  It was so uncomfortable.  To make it worse, there were a group of young guys next to us who seemed just as uncomfortable.  They soon got up and moved to another section.  I was so embarrassed.  I couldn’t enjoy the game.  I cried the entire time.  I didn’t sob… it wasn’t obvious to those around me that I was crying, but the tears kept flowing down my face. I just kept my head down or turned away so no one, including my husband, would notice.

That should have been enough to light a fire in me and make me want to change, but it wasn’t.  I mean  I “tried” to lose the weight, but with little effort and little success.  My love for food overpowered any desire I had.

On December 18, 2012, I came across the website for Overeaters Anonymous.  I explored it a little and then joined in on an online meeting. The theme for the night was “The only requirement is the desire to stop eating compulsively”.  I had the desire, which is what brought me there, but the desire was not very strong.  Not strong enough to keep me from over-indulging at work two days later when everyone brought in tons of goodies to celebrate Christmas.  That day I was the definition of a compulsive overeater.  I declined some of the goodies at first, but later, when no one was looking, I ate everything that was left…donuts, popcorn, brownies, candy.  I was sick to my stomach later that night and felt like such a loser.  Over Christmas, I continued to indulge.  It’s hard to say no to my aunt and my grandma when they offer so much good food.  I didn’t want to say no…so I ate.

December 27th, 2012, I stepped on the scale and the result was 277.3 pounds.   I spent time in prayer and decided this was the day to surrender this area of my life to God.  I began tracking my calories again and started the “Made to Crave” Bible study again.  I had done it before, but didn’t really let the information sink in.  I also “attended” another OA meeting online and began reading the book about the 12 Steps.  Step 1 says, “We admitted that we were powerless over food – that our lives had become unmanageable.”  I can relate that, but I can now say I am 5 days abstinent from compulsive overeating.

I am grateful to God because of the new hope and desire He has given me.  I realize that I cannot do this alone.   I need Him.  My own desire, my own strength is not enough.

Back To Jr. High…

I have been going to an exercise class at my church on Monday nights.  They claimed it was for “all fitness levels”, but seriously, it was not for beginners!  The first night I went, I was exhausted from just the warm up, and I could not keep up with the class.  After that, I told myself, “This is too hard; I am NOT going back!”  Well, I went back, and I’ve gone 4 or 5 times now.  I still cannot keep up, but I do my best, and I feel so much better after it’s all over.

This past Monday I was doing the class as usual, and of course, I stay on the back row so no one can watch me, other than the instructor.  Well, at the end she decided to change it up, and had us divide up in pairs and race against other pairs, running back and forth to different cones, then doing 10 jumping jacks at the end.  This is where the insecurity set in.  I started feeling really nervous and I really didn’t want to do it because I knew I would be last and everyone would be standing there watching me.  I am the heaviest, most out of shape member of the class.  We had 2 rounds.  I did the first round, and yes, I was the last one, but the next group went for their 2nd round so I finished and tagged my partner.  When she came back to me though, I saw that everyone was finishing, so I gave up and didn’t complete the race.  I couldn’t stand the thought of 9 or 10 other people finishing before me and just watching me til I finished.  I had a flashback of my junior high days, being the heaviest girl who couldn’t keep up with the others, the girl that the guys would laugh at and make MOO sounds, implying that I was a fat cow. So I quit and hid behind my partner til we moved on to the stretching portion of the class.  I was really embarrassed, but I held in the tears and finished the rest of the class.

So anyway, I’m not sure what the point of this blog is.  I am proud of myself for losing the weight I’ve lost so far, and for sticking with the class, but I am disappointed in myself for allowing the insecurity and fear to  get in the way.  I want to change my life, which is why I started this journey.  I want to be healthy, and I want to have more confidence in myself, so I don’t always feel like the “fat girl” and let it hinder me from accomplishing greater things.