It has been my nature to compare myself to others, to be insecure, and to give myself frequent pity parties.  God has been at work in helping me overcome this. He has shown me that feeling sorry for myself gets me nowhere.  He has challenged me to step out in faith and watch what He can do when I take my eyes off of myself and my inadequacies.

Here’s an example…

Back in January, I attended a ladies retreat with my church. Throughout our time there, for some reason, I just felt so disconnected from everyone.  It didn’t have anything to do with how the other ladies treated me; it was just something I was feeling inside. Sunday morning at church I saw several of the ladies who had met each other hugging, and they seemed so excited to see each other. I felt alone, and so my pity party began… I was thinking things like “I suck at relationships”, “I can’t make friends”, “I’m too quiet”, “I wish I was as fun and outgoing as other people”… and on and on and on.

A few days later, God spoke to me and reminded me of something the speaker said at the retreat…  “If you play the comparison game, you will lose every time.”   That’s what I do…I compare myself to others, I feel insecure, and I withdraw.

This time, however, God told me to do something else.  Instead of feeling sorry for myself, wishing people would reach out to me, I needed to ask Him how He wanted to use me to reach out to others. I spoke to the women’s ministry coordinator at our church and explored options including leading a Bible study or a ladies accountability group.  I am not typically a leader, however I sensed it was something God was calling me to do.  The decision was made to do a short-term Bible study first, and then continue with an accountability group if I still felt led to do so.

The Bible study has come and gone, and I am so thankful for the opportunity.  It helped me to be a little more bold, to meet some amazing women, and reconnect with an old friend.  More importantly, I was able to encourage and pray for one of those amazing women, and I have been blessed to witness God’s work in her life throughout the last few months.

I am grateful that God challenged me to step out of my comfort zone.   Sometimes I still play the comparison game, and I still have my insecurities, but God is breaking through them little by little.  I’m learning that I don’t have to be a powerful speaker or a talented musician or a social butterfly… I just have to be willing to let Him display His power and His love through me.

He can and will do the same through you if you let Him.

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